Lost in Dark and it's an addiction

Over the years since I've started knowing my sexual orientation I've always condemned the part where one has to be gay and be all whore because sexual orientation has nothing to do with how one reacts to booty calls. I heard a friend once saying 'Since sex is becoming more easier to get love is becoming rare' and that is somehow very very realistic. 

This past year I've been experiencing things I've never actually had the privilege to do before the time. I've broken up with someone I've loved I've been in a dark phase where I've slept with a lot of people just to calm my body down and shut my emotions off. Well that did work atleast temporarily till the time when I started having regrets for whatever I've done. This year has however been a total surprise for me maybe because I got to know some of very very beautiful people who're now friends they don't judge but they always stand besides me.

Mid this year I opened up infront of my cousins and the wives of them (Bhabis) and they totally support me and we are close way better then we were before this. 

These past few days I've been in immense pressure because of the ongoing troubles in between me and my family. Seems Like they don't like me anymore or something like that. I least care about them on the other hand I don't want to screw my relation with the people who are close to me. I'm totally scared and hurt and lost basically.

Being all in this mess I've started talking to a guy 'Eros' who has been a great help for me and after years Im on the verge of finding the possibilities out. So that's something I'm not so sure about either there's this volcano of emotions running through my veins with anxiety, uncertainty and chill of horor. Maybe someday I'll find my way out.

Till then wish me luck guys hugs!!